Friendships are vital. They bring joy, support, and a sense of belonging into our lives. But sometimes, even the closest friends can start to drift apart. I know because I have experienced it myself with three other of my closest friends. Names are not going to mentioned of course but these three were near and dear to my heart. The picture below is definitely not one of them but she’s my first roommate Mo while living abroad in the States but hey, that’s another story for another day! Back to why friendships falter.

Why Friendships Drift Apart

1. Life Changes

Life is always changing. Moving to a new city (I moved to Chicago and moved back), starting a new job, or getting into a serious relationship can shift our priorities. When this happens, it’s common for friends to start feeling distant. For example, if one friend moves far away, it can be tough to stay as close as before. I’ve always thought I would never lose my friends because all the closest ones were always there for me even when it was moving away to study abroad, most of them came to say Goodbye at the airport. I thought to myself Wow, I have good friends. But as time went on, our lives all started to change with different commitment and jobs.

2. Poor Communication

Good communication is key in any friendship. My best friend and I talk everyday. And she’s in Chicago. Meanwhile, I’m in Malaysia. I send her reels on Instagram and we chat about anything and everything openly. At least once a week, one of us will share something. And that’s all you need really. If you don’t talk openly, misunderstandings can pile up, and small problems can turn into big ones. If you and your friend stop talking or avoid addressing issues, it can lead to feeling disconnected. Ghosting in friendships? Yes, that happens too just as it can in romantic relationship. It can be confusing and hurtful all together. While dealing with all these emotions can be challenging, focusing on self-care, seeking support, and reflecting on the experience can aid in the healing process.

Remember, friendships should be built on mutual respect and communication, and it’s important to prioritize relationships that are supportive and genuine.

3. Different Interests

As people grow, their interests and values might change. What used to bring you and your friend together might not matter as much anymore. If you’ve moved on to new hobbies or interests that your friend doesn’t share, it can create distance.

4. Lack of Effort

Friendships need effort to thrive. If one or both people stop putting in the work—like not reaching out or missing important events—the relationship can start to fizzle. If you feel like you’re putting in all the effort, it can make you feel unappreciated.

5. Broken Trust

Trust is a big deal in friendships. If trust is broken—through lies, betrayal, or unreliable behavior—it can be hard to fix. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both sides, and sometimes, the damage might be too severe to repair.

How to Heal

First, have a good cry and allow yourself to feel sad, angry, all kinds of emotions. Scream it out if you want

Aaaahhhh.

1. Talk It Out.

I know this is a tough one but if you feel like your friendship is drifting, try talking about it. Share how you’re feeling and listen to your friend’s side. Open conversations can clear up misunderstandings and help you both get back on track.

2. Work on Rebuilding Trust

If trust has been damaged, focus on rebuilding it. This means being honest, reliable, and showing that you’re committed to fixing things. It’s a slow process, but with effort, it’s possible to restore the relationship.

3. Put in the Effort

OK this one I believe is important. Both people need to put in some effort. Make plans to hang out, check in regularly, and show that you care. Even small gestures can make a big difference in maintaining the bond.

4. Accept Change

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, friendships might naturally change or come to an end. It’s important to accept this and understand that it’s part of life. Cherish the good memories and recognize that it’s okay to move on. That is also part of growing up.

Friendships can drift apart for a variety of reasons, but understanding these reasons and taking steps to address them can help. By communicating openly, working on rebuilding trust, and putting in the effort, you can often strengthen your friendships. And if things don’t work out, it’s okay to accept that and focus on new relationships. Friendships, like all relationships, require care and attention, and sometimes letting go is just as important as holding on.